


Lead Us Not Into Temptation

by imbrokelyn99



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, HUGE WARNING: THIS IS EXTREMELY SACRILEGIOUS, Lots of talk about Catholicism in this, M/M, do not come within 10 feet of this fic if you're a religious Catholic, like SUPER sacrilegious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 19:15:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19340887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbrokelyn99/pseuds/imbrokelyn99
Summary: David finds out that Patrick went to Catholic school, and they try something in the bedroom that would 100% be frowned upon by the church.





	Lead Us Not Into Temptation

**Author's Note:**

> This is based loosely on a true story that someone told me. For the sake of properly warning you, David and Patrick have sex while Patrick recites a very popular Catholic prayer. If you can't handle that, don't keep reading, and please, please don't comment. You have been warned.

“What does your family usually do for the holidays?” David asked as he packed the rest of the decorations away. The Rose family holiday fete had come to a quiet close, and the crowd in the motel thinned out as Johnny and Moira retired to bed and everyone, including David and Patrick, went home to their respective apartments for the night. The couple took down the meager decorations around Patrick’s room and packed them gingerly into cardboard boxes.

Patrick smiled. “Well, I was raised Catholic, so after dinner on Christmas Eve, we go to midnight mass, and then Christmas morning, we all get up early to do presents.” 

David raised his eyebrows. “Wait, how did I not know you were raised Catholic?” 

Patrick shrugged. “I guess it never came up. But yeah, I did the whole nine yards: First Communion, Confirmation, all that jazz. I even went to Catholic school throughout middle school,” he added sheepishly.

David abandoned the decorations and stepped closer to his boyfriend. “ _Catholic school?_ ” he said, eyes wide. 

“Yeah. We had nuns teach our classes. Sex Ed was all abstinence, all the time.” 

“And do you...I mean, did you…” David didn’t quite know what he wanted to ask. Suddenly he was at a loss for words: for him, Catholicism was a strange creature, full of teeth, called forth by arbitrary rituals that seemed cultish. His mother was raised Catholic, of course, but she never practiced her faith in front of him. Come to think of it, he had no idea whether Moira even prayed. His only exposure to Catholicism, really, was aligned with vitriolic comments he’d seen online or received in person, telling him he’d go to hell for being attracted to men. Add that to the staunch pro-life teachings that they emblazoned across the signs of their churches that anyone driving by would see and David did not have good associations with it at all.

“I...I really liked it as a kid,” Patrick began, pulling David out of his own head. “It was kind of comforting to go to mass every Sunday, repeat these prayers I knew by heart. The songs, the smell of frankincense and myrrh, the gold statues, the white cloth, and the stained glass windows...it all felt so beautiful when I was young. I loved learning the parables when I was in school, learning what it meant to be a good person.”

David nodded, sympathetic. He could understand that. 

“But then, as I grew older, and I started...well, you know...questioning my attraction to women...I didn’t feel like I could be part of it anymore. Like the beauty was tainted somehow by all of these teachings that seemed to become more and more aggressive. I couldn’t reconcile these things in my head: the church that I attended every Sunday and that educated me and made me feel at home was suddenly telling me, in no uncertain terms, that I would be going to hell for loving who I wanted to love. It was really difficult for me.” Patrick frowned as he spoke, watched his own hands as they wrapped Christmas lights around themselves and packed them into the cardboard box. 

David stepped into Patrick’s space and took his hands in his own. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. It _must_ have been difficult.”

Patrick squeezed his hands. “Yeah. When I told my mom I wanted to switch to public school for high school, I had to tell her it was more a financial choice than anything else, but...I think she had her ideas, too. And now, I guess my relationship with the church hasn’t gotten less complicated. I’m a lot more critical of it now than I was at first, but there are some things that take longer to unlearn. Being raised Catholic is one of them.” 

David kissed his cheek. “I don’t know what my word is worth in this situation, but whatever your church teaches you, I want you to know that you are the best and kindest person I know, that I will walk through hell and back for you, and that there’s no way they could possibly be right about you going to hell. You know why?” 

Patrick met his boyfriend’s gaze, and something stirred in David’s heart when he saw that Patrick’s eyes were glazing over with tears. “Why, David?” 

David smiled and took Patrick’s face in his hands. “Whatever higher power there is out there, whether it’s God, or Buddha, or the Universe...I know it’s on our side because it led me to you.”

Patrick’s tears spilled over and he let out a watery laugh. “I love you,” he said, his palm moving to cradle David’s cheek, bringing him closer so he could give him a soft, warm kiss. David responded in kind. 

“I love you, too, Patrick. Merry Christmas.”

***

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season died down a few days after the new year started. The store had been packed with people every day, doing last-minute holiday shopping and buying things for their holiday and New Year’s Eve parties. Now, save for the stragglers purchasing from the store’s stock of health and wellness products to make good on their New Year’s resolutions, the store was mostly quiet. 

Patrick enjoyed the quiet; holidays with the Roses were fun, more fun than he expected, especially since he missed his own family during the festivities, but they took a lot out of him. The day wore on and Patrick finally flipped the sign on the door to closed right on the dot at 5 p.m. without having to shoo out any customers. He sidled up to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him away from the product he’d arranged and rearranged a million times that day for the sake of having something to do.

“Hi,” he said quietly into the skin at David’s neck. He couldn’t see it, but he knew a soft smile had graced David’s face then, as it always had when he touched him.

“Hi,” David replied softly, pulling him in tighter and running a hand through the short hairs at the back of Patrick’s neck. “So, I have a surprise for you.” 

Patrick pulled away and studied David’s face, intrigued. “Go on.” 

“Well, since everyone who was staying at the Best Western in Elmdale for the holidays has cleared out, they were offering rooms at a discounted price. So I snagged one for us. I guess you can consider this my Christmas present,” David said, talking around a smile. 

Patrick’s face lit up. “So this hotel room...it’s all ours? For tonight?”

David nodded. “Mhmm. Just you and me. Tonight.” 

No time was wasted as they hurried to complete the last few chores they needed to do to close and headed to Patrick’s place so he could pack an overnight bag. David had taken his own out of hiding from the stockroom and, with their twin duffels and a pizza hastily ordered in the back seat, they were off to their hotel room. 

They made quick work of settling in, each tossing their bag into a different corner of their hotel room. Twenty minutes later, with the pizza polished off, they found themselves cuddling in the middle of the wide expanse of the king bed. 

“Thank you for doing this for us, David,” Patrick murmured, peppering David’s neck with soft kisses. David sighed.

“That feels so nice,” he said, his fingers sliding under the hem of Patrick’s sweater and reveling in the warm skin he found there. It was so casual a touch, this hand finding warmth on his lower back above the waistband of his jeans, and yet Patrick still felt electricity make its way up his spine.

“I want you, David,” Patrick said, almost without meaning to, like it was instinct. David sucked in a breath and turned his head to slot their lips together. Suddenly they were consumed with want, dying for it, and they couldn’t get close enough. Patrick’s breath hitched, and if he’d had any plans of controlling himself tonight, they had suddenly gone out the window when David stuck his tongue in Patrick’s mouth.

They explored each other, tasting lips and tongue and promises yet to be made, as their hands roamed over fabric. “Off, please, take this off,” Patrick whispered, slowly tugging David’s sweater upwards. They broke apart for the fastest of seconds to get the cashmere over David’s head, but Patrick returned immediately, his tongue in David’s mouth now, his fingers scratching through David’s chest hair. 

“Wait, wait,” David said, pulling back once more. Patrick groaned in frustration. “I want to try something.” 

Patrick raised his eyebrows. “What do you want to try?” he asked, his fingers playing with David’s belt buckle.

“I, um. I’ve been thinking about this for a few days. And you have absolutely every right to stop me and tell me you don’t want to do it. But, Patrick, I wanna fuck you…”

“Yes,” Patrick said immediately, finally unbuckling David’s jeans.

“...While you recite the Lord’s Prayer.” 

Patrick froze. “You...what?” His eyes travelled up from the button on David’s jeans that he’d just wrenched open to meet David’s eyes. 

“I just…” David began nervously. “I thought about you going to Catholic school, and I know you were a kid but I was imagining you...now...in, like, a Catholic schoolboy uniform, and it just drove me crazy. Drives me crazy. But we don’t have to do it, it’s stupid, I’m sorry for even—” Patrick silenced him with a kiss, hot and needy. 

“Okay,” Patrick said against his lips. “We can try that. Okay.” 

David sighed in relief and covered Patrick’s mouth with his own. Patrick moved, pushing David back against the pillows as he kissed down his body. He tapped twice at David’s hip when he got to the waistband of his jeans and David lifted them, allowing Patrick to start pulling his pants and boxer briefs off. Patrick took a moment to stand, then, making quick work of getting himself as naked as David was, and returned to his place between David’s legs. 

David was half-hard but getting there, and when Patrick took him in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head, he threw his head back against the pillows and let out a long, low moan. Patrick swallowed around him as he leaked precum into Patrick’s mouth and David bit his hand to keep from shouting. 

Patrick took the heavy weight of David’s cock deeper into his mouth and pressed his tongue flat against the sensitive vein under the head as he went. David’s hips twitched, but Patrick held them down as he skillfully sucked off his boyfriend.  
“Patrick, wait, we still have to—” David panted. Patrick pulled away and nodded. 

“Lube,” Patrick said, remembering, and he dove into his bag, the closest to the bed, to grab the small bottle he’d packed and a condom. David took the opportunity to admire Patrick’s body, strong but compact, as he got up, and his eyes lingered on Patrick’s cock, red and thick and so hard already.

David got up on his knees and moved to meet Patrick at the edge of the bed, taking his face in his hands and kissing him thoroughly, guiding him back onto the pillows. Patrick lay down and pulled David on top of him, telegraphing through the hard press of his lips, his tongue, how much every cell in his body wanted this. 

“I want you in my mouth first,” David said before he kissed a line down Patrick’s body, just as Patrick did to him earlier, and took Patrick’s cock in his mouth. They had had enough stockroom trysts and desperate nights at Ray’s that David knew by now just how to work Patrick up with his mouth. He paused his work to spread lube over his fingers and returned to his ministrations, pressing one finger into Patrick’s ass as he swirled his tongue over Patrick’s dick. 

“God, David, you’re so fucking good,” Patrick moaned, his head thrown back. David added another finger at that, fucking Patrick open with his hands. Patrick couldn’t control the sighs coming out of his own mouth, and he fucked himself back on David’s fingers, his own hands tightening their grip on the sheets as David pushed a third finger in. 

“Please, David, I want you inside me,” Patrick said. David pulled away entirely to roll the condom onto his own dick and position himself properly between Patrick’s legs. 

“Patrick,” David said. Patrick looked down to meet him in the eyes. “Start praying.” 

Patrick’s heart stuttered at the words, but he nodded. “Our father,” he gasped, as David pushed in slowly. 

“W-who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.”

Patrick struggled to get the words out, his senses so overcome with the feeling of David pushing further and further in. He clamped his eyes shut and he was seeing stars, the electricity building at the base of his spine and crawling glacially upward. 

“Keep going,” David said, hips pulling back and snapping forward, building up to a clip. 

“Thy Kingdom come— _fuck_ , thy will be done,” Patrick said, stuttering as David took his dick in his hand and started jacking him off as he pounded into him. “On Earth, as it is in Heaven.”

“You’re doing great, baby, keep going,” David said, a light sheen breaking over his skin as he started to sweat. Patrick’s breaths were coming in short gasps, and he wasn’t sure how long he was going to last.

“Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,” Patrick managed, his heart clenching at the words. He felt like he was losing his grip on reality a bit; he was so overcome with emotion, with lust, with love, like he was on the bridge between Heaven and hell, and all he could think was _David, David, David._ “As we forgive those who trespassed against us.” 

“Patrick, I’m gonna come,” David gasped desperately. Patrick let out a reedy whine.

“Lead us not into temptation,” he said louder, feeling a little as if he were exorcising himself now, “but deliver us from evil.” 

“ _God_ ,” David said. “Finish. Finish it.” 

“Amen,” Patrick choked out, and suddenly David was coming inside him, and that was all it took to send him careening over the edge. David held him as he shook through his orgasm and saw stars behind his eyes as he did. 

Patrick came down slowly, his breathing returning to a normal pace now, and he registered that David was hovering over him, watching him. Patrick’s gaze focused on him, on his soft brown eyes that were full of kindness and love, and he was so overcome with emotion that he couldn’t control the tears that had suddenly, silently slipped down his cheeks. 

“Patrick,” David said, voice thick with something Patrick couldn’t name. David brushed the backs of his fingers over Patrick’s cheeks, wiping the tears away. “I love you.”

“I love you, David,” Patrick whispered shakily, pulling David down by the back of his neck and kissing him with everything he had. He didn’t care about the mess between them, the uncomfortable stickiness of come and sweat; all he cared about was David on his lips, in his arms, everywhere around him.

David peppered kisses all over Patrick’s face, his cheeks, his chin, his forehead, before pulling away and disposing of the condom. Patrick whined at the loss of warmth. 

“Come shower with me. Let me take care of you,” David said, padding over and taking Patrick’s hand to help him up off the bed and guide him to the bathroom. 

***  
Later, when they’d cleaned the mess off themselves and tucked themselves into the plush hotel sheets, Patrick shifted up against David’s side and rested his head on his boyfriend’s chest.

“Patrick, I know I kind of sprung that on you—and you did beautifully—but...was that okay? I mean, really?” David asked into the darkness, his hand absently tracing circles into the skin of Patrick’s arm. 

“I don’t...know if I can ever do that again,” Patrick said honestly. David nodded. “I mean, it was amazing and so, so hot, but...I don’t know if my heart could take it.” Patrick huffed a chuckle into David’s skin. He felt David smile in the dark.

“We don’t ever have to do that again,” David said. “I’m just worried that I...I don’t know, ruined the church forever for you. I don’t want that.” 

Patrick nodded. “I know I said I have a complicated relationship with my religion, and I do. And I can’t say I’m going to walk away from here tomorrow completely guilt-free, but...David, that was, by far, the hottest thing that has ever happened to me.”

David pressed a kiss to Patrick’s temple. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I love you,” David whispered.

“I love you, too, David. Whether the church, or God, likes it or not...I’m in this for the long run.” 

“Me, too.”


End file.
